Awakening and Basic life history

The following was writen in response to Pawn Sensei, and I reproduce it from my chess blog "Chess Improvment":

Pawn Sensei said...
Hi. I haven't commented on your blog in a while so thought I would drop in.Quick question. Have you read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle?PS
Wed Mar 14, 06:32:00 PM PDT

transformation said...

of course. he is the real thing, and proof of synergy, got off the phone a minute ago, with my brother long distance, and just mentioned Vancovers Goldcorp, the most innovative gold company on the planet, and Tolle operates out of there, and *ping* as I just spoke it, your email appears.now, how great a teacher? hard to say. the real thing, that is to say, self actualizing, self transforming and able to transmit energy, surely. able to awaken you to the fact that you can do it yourself? yes.

but this is not the point, if i may humbly say.there comes a point where all seeking drops off. where you do not go to new age bookstores, or read books, or listen to tapes. where in a crisis you dont call friends for advice, but you metabolize it, the content of your 'matter' within yourself. 

there is no teacher at an advanced level, no more than Kasparov or Karpov can go to Alekhine or Capablanca to learn new techniques. yes, they had magnificient predicessors, but nothing new is under the sun, to use vukovics Art of Attack analogy.i graduated in 2000, and had a guru. was it hard, very hard? yes. assuredly. it was like dieing. it was like being crucified.

but at a certain point, you are done, and read the book of life.my guru was brutal. a real killer, and slayer of souls. but she taught love. she taught regard for others. she taught SELF realization.this is not to say, as a retailer, who meets ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED PERSONS A WEEK, that i do not learn new things. but the emulsifier is already within us. we are adding to what is already there, not going out to 'get it'.

similarly love. there comes a point, where not in a primary relationship we are utterly in love. but we smile, constantly, and are in love with the world, and as people come and go, we stand there, utterly breathless.please do not hesitate to contact me further, dk_transform AT y hoo dotttt Kom. please note your name and purpose in subject line, so I know it is not Viagra much appreciated. :)ps, i just made 22% in my retirement account during the global crisis in the last three weeks.

there is no newsletter to read, no television program, no flier to read. it is operating your own brain, and viewing technical data WITH YOUR OWN BRAIN. do i care for the money, or is this what i am amount? NO! it is a game, and the money does not matter, but it is transmutating energy, as a complex adaptive or complex dynamic system of feedback, and concretized fear and greed.

Wed Mar 14, 06:56:00 PM PDT


I liked this video until it got near the end, then slid into the Zionist-Jewish-irrational rant. My grandfather was half Jewish, and have had many close friends with those Jewish, but put this video here if only to stir and provoke or represent something, even if it is not ALL good. That is the media.

Dear PS:

Greetings. I would copy for reference below your very touching email [dk: Pawn Sensei's reply not reproduced here], and have rebooted twice, but some odd problem is showing in copying html and pasting into Outlook, and winWord, etc, in an otherwise very advanced and fairly new PC, so I continue with perfect memory of what you write.

Thank you for your acknowledgment. There is a lot that I can tell you, but you do not need to be impressed, and only note that the more that I tell you, the more questions you will have. In the sphere of cyberspace, inner work, and chess, we can have some exchange, and we never know when we will make a new friend—for me, one of life’s great joys.

I was a prodigy in architecture, and was designing buildings at age ten. I studied at a school that was harder to get into than Harvard or MIT, etc, and, in my second year of college (1977) started to have psychic experiences. Hundreds of things, for example, the first 9-11 attack, so I know that I am a highly sensitive person. If that was not enough, around that time or thereafter, I started to have a photographic memory.

Why do I say all this? Because with all those powers, I was destined to either go crazy or become a powerful person, who could make a big impact. I met a zen master, went to Korea then, many years latter, as a broker, found my path, or the way for me, and went to a guru for a year, and felt energy. He prepared me for my real teacher, a woman named Joy. Now, if I told you she had a UFO experience, don’t laugh at me or think I am weird. I am not even saying it is true or not.

But what matters is, is that while working as a senior broker at Morgan Stanley, producing results attained by less than for or even ten persons in 12,000, and making $300,000 a year, I had to consider otherworldly notions considered as possibly as true or possible, while, not so much listening to her and noticing the results that she was producing in her realm. She was a teacher of love, regard for others, and awakening.

Teachers are great. I had four or five, etc. But at a certain point, you graduate. They are vital, but even they get surpassed. The mind tends to recreate itself, and they, to use the term of Gurdjieff, provide the conscious shocks. She lived with Maharishi in India for eight years, and meditated in a room for three, with no lights on or mobility.

photo of my mom being held by her mother may, c.1927

When I left Wall Street, I wanted to die. I was shattered. I could shave, and pay my bills, and more or less be a passing socialized person, but outside major necessities, just collapsed. I could not find a job, any job. That depression and unemployment became both cause and effect.

I took a job at a major hardware store. Just imagine, after making 100,000 phone calls, twenty years of spiritual work, then meeting 300,000 persons and walking 10,000 miles in a gigantic store selling special order windows and doors, moving huge rolls of carpet, stocking vinyl and heavy marble tile, then winding up in, if one were alert...

...not only understanding capital markets and globalism, but attentive to the patterns of human behavior, eventually mastering interpersonal interaction, much as an Aikido-ka masters parrying attack and deflection, and how to defend others, so I had this very public experience of meeting thousand upon thousand of persons, often poor intercity folks, who wanted to replace a bent screw or broken tile or repair grout….

As an aside, let me not fail to mention, that at age 14 I was 1672 elo and am confident I would have become a chess grandmaster, but had to give the game up, as I was too obsessed with it, to get proper schooling and the grades necessary for a college scholarship, being from a very poor family. I picked up the game in the spring of 2001 again, starting back at 1200 elo at Yahoo! and making my way to 1700 after a lot of hard work. 1672 elo in 1973 was before rating inflation.

When I left my guru, I dreamed about her maybe three or four times a week, for two years, and she came to me each night and spoke to me, about what, I do not know. All I know is that she is still there. I realized upon waking today, she was there last night, too. And now your email…

She always said that Enlightenment or self realization was embodied in physicality. I have found this to be true. The body is a great instrument.

I cannot advocate or discourage finding a teacher. It is all according to where you are at, or what your needs are.

I understand what you say of your [personal to our email], and I had a [ " ] like that…

My guru always said, ‘Fear and doubt are the most harmful things.’ Trust your heart my good friend.

Well, this is not a very good email, but it is a start.

Warmly, David